Either way..

I was on the subway tonight and Guster played in my Ipod. I love this band: happy songs that put you in a happy mood.

Last time i saw them in concert in Vermont, it was a few days after a breakup that seemed unbearable at the time. Everything reminded me of him, but the problem with memories is i put the guy on a pedestal that he didn't really deserved.

Anyway, the song Either Way started on stage and, i don't know, maybe i was tired, maybe it was a brief moment of clarity or i dunno.. But i realised the lyrics were right for the moment.

Since then, i fell for a few guys and it always ended the same crappy way. The good thing is i don't cry for them anymore when they leave, if the song fits.

And unfortunately, it always fits.

(This is a sad one, but i swear: this band is amazingly happy! Youtube-it!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6vghSLxCyI

Jour de l'an / Don't look back and run

Bon, le moral va mieux en cette fin d'année 2011.

Là, j'ai juste le goût de hurler We Are Young et de sortir pour le jour de l'an. Sivouplait, p'tit Jesus (prononcez Hézouss, à l'espagnol) j'espère que notre future virée entre copines pour le jour de l'an ne virera pas en:

1. Tuerie entre gang de rue **
2. Soirée lame où nous brilleront dans le cercle des têtes blanches
3. Virée au Ballattou... Oh hell no que je ne mets pas les pieds là!

Alors sur ce, je vous laisse et have fun on New Years Eve!!



** Au boxing day, j'ai dû sortir de chez moi et aller à 3 reprises à l'extérieur au courant de la même journée. Deux de ces fois, c'était au Centre Eaton. Je n'ai JAMAIS vu autant de police de ma vie, en un seul endroit. Sur tous les étage, des dizaines et dizaines de policiers, se tenant en grappe pour assurer la sécurité de tous. Un peu exagéré j'ai pensé, mais bon..

Lors de ma dernière sortie au centre Eaton, j'ai du aller courailler chez Feu Radio Shack au sous sol pour un fil quand, tout à coup, tous les policiers sont descendus l'escalier en courant, suivi des centaines de jeunes qui hurlaient de joie: BATAILLE!!

Moi, prise de panique à la caisse, je regarde le caissier qui lui, prend ça en riant me disant "Ouain, j'espère que ça finira pas comme l'an passé!" ....... *ajouter mon air en panique perplexe* HAN?! "Ben oui, c'est de même tous les ans... Ya ben des jeunes, et ça se ramasse en gang de rue et l'an passé, les policiers ont lancé des bombes lacrimogènes pour dispercer la foule et la bataille. Tout le monde hurlait et sortait en pleurant.. C'était trop drôle!"

CALVAIRE!! C'est pas drôle pentoute! J'peux vous dire que j'ai pogné mon fil et j'ai crissé mon camp à la vitesse maximale qu'une toutoune peut gravir les escaliers roulant... Don't look back and run! **

Stupid girl

Je suis retombée dans le pattern.

Addict en manque de son attention. Et il m'évite. Inconsciemment ou pas.. j'en sais trop rien.

Tout ce que je sais, c'est que mon cerveau est en constante liaison avec lui. À se demander ce qu'il fait, où il est, et s'il va bien.

Je sais que je ne suis rien pour lui, sinon qu'une étrangère à qui il vient parler lorsque bon lui semble. Sans plus.

Mais je n'y peux rien. Même si j'arrive à me tenir debout, à l'oublier momentanément, je sais fort bien qu'il réapparaîtra bientôt pour un bref instant. Et à cet instant, mes genoux lâcheront et je ramperai encore à ses pieds. Consciente de ma connerie, un sourire niais sur mon visage..

Stupid girl.

Complicated messages. Complicated situation.

I have to let go.
Get back to where I was.
Say Goodbye and move on.

But i can't.

Hooked again. Hooked always.

My fingers hurt from holding on to you.

I'm gonna have to let go. Eventually.

380 miles away

I would like you to know that i'm fine. Better than fine.. I'm grrreat!

I got a new job! The last couple months had been rough on me, but i think it's all turning now. It's closer to where i live, and oh, the money will be waaaaay better than what i used to make. It's also a job where there's actually a chance for me to climb higher in the ranks. So i have 2 days left working for the Biodome (formerly Planetarium, formerly Botanical Gardens..) and as of Monday, i will officially be in training.

And you? What's going on with you? I heard about a new job or something.. i didn't quite understand but i would like to, if you want to tell me.

I found on my computer an old conversation we had a couple years ago. I have no idea exactly when it happened, but it was funny. I miss that, laughing with you. I don't know what happened to you, but you seem so serious now. But again, i might be wrong.. If only you would talk to me once in a while, other than to send me a wink and a smile and disappear when i talk to you..

I hope we will talk again. I really do.

Take care,

Ems. -xxx-

Nicest thing

Nicest thing, de Kate Nash, où comment m'ouvrir le crâne et extraire mes pensées. Parce que oui, les filles ont toute un petit côté comme ça.


All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
I wish that we could give it a go
See if we could be something

I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style

I wish you couldn't figure me out
But you'd always wanna know what I was about
I wish you'd hold my hand
When I was upset
I wish you'd never forget
The look on my face when we first met

I wish you had a favourite beauty spot
That you loved secretly
'Cause it was on a hidden bit
That nobody else could see
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars,
Actually I meant three

I wish that without me your heart would break
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

Look, all I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
And I wish that we could see if we could be something
Yeah I wish that we could see if we could be something

Scared.

Ever since i heard from you, i can't stop thinking about you. It's been a while. How are you? What have you been up to? Are you ok?

I've missed you.

All I wanna do now is run back to NY.

Shit.

I'm really the Queen of all lost-opportunities.